Rashness and Hot Temper 16/03/08

This is my weakest link. I have always been hot-tempered and rash. Often than not, i just acted on it, or simply just flare up.

My mum and grandma experienced it first hand many times... a hell lot of times...
Not forgetting my poor brother and close friends... of course, at times i flare up is because of them being bullied by outside parties.

Take my bro example when i was still in Pri 6 and he was pri 4, he had a quarrel with a friend and her mum confronted us. I got really angry and defended my bro like hell. I did not give face to the auntie and argued back for my brother. I am damn protective to those close to me.

But often than not, i flare for the wrong reasons. Shouting and scolding was common thing that my family faced. My mum had to cool me down many times, reminding me the right from the wrong. How i appreciate that... after time since then, i have managed to control my temper better. Also given the change in circumstances around me, i could not longer bear to quarrel with my grandma. With her condition getting bad to worse, this is just something i should do (or rather not do - flare up again).

Overtime, i have grown to be more careful of other's thinking and feelings. I tried as much to be as positive as possible despite whatever problems i faced. Nothing fazed me, i take it by my stride, i faced it bravely. But because of that, i tend to take it all on my own, trying to handle and solve on myself. I knew that's not right. But im not one who will openly discussed my problems easily.

Then come this stupid mistake again. Something i did in the moment of rashness, yet again. Now, what will happen next? Is it lost forever, I hope not... i really Hope not...or else, it will be another regret that i have bear again. I know time is needed now and i shouldnt rush things yet again.