Mess Mess 29/03/08

Home is indeed in a mess...
Family have moved in here...
Cartons all over the places... resuffling needed. And its a total shift!

Not quite a good timing given that exams is coming soon...
Anyway, its all about time management... !

The army mobilisation this week better not be activated... 4 days to go...
or not, it will ruined my mood even more...

Lower Concentration level - 27/03/08

Felt that this few days, my concentration level has been lower than usual.

Usually, even how busy i am, i could sort out my task and time manage quite well. But this few days, minds been out of sorts. What more work load should have been lessen as i have clear some assignements and presentations.

oh well, maybe the uncertainty of the upcoming holidays made me like this?
Or what? gosh... talking nonsense again...

anyway, what shall i do for holidays?
1) go back Mount E hospital ( provided they accept me back as part time staff of course)
2) Seek new part time jobs ( can rest a bit first b4 searching)
3) Apply internship (considering this... still have a few more days before dateline application)
4) Work for sch (but is successful, i would only have 3 days of rest and its work again)

Hai.. in the mist of this, also there's another flexible job that i havent gone for briefing yet. Dont know how much commitment that takes too... hmmm....

Headache / Medical Pill - 23/03/08

:(
this few days been having headache and feeling heaty.
Just yesterday, mum gave me some pill that she initially prepare for dad.
She initially got it for dad, but he stopped eating. so we went to the medical hall to ask the shop auntie abt the pills.


anyway, the freaking pills is damn expensive... i was shocked when she tried to get my mum to buy more. she was saying currently is $40 per pill !!!

Freak... in the end i found out it is a kind of pill where the medical hall would crush that particular pill and put it into 8 capsule... so it means $5 per capsule.. .

Omg!!! anyway, i took one already to see its effect... supposedly to help me "drain" out my toxic in my body... we'll see if i will be more "healthier" ... keke..

By the Power of Your Love

Lord I come to You Let my heart be changed renewed
Flowing from the grace that I found In You

Lord I've come to know The weakness I see in me
Will be stripped away
By the power of Your love

Hold me close Let Your love surround me
Bring me near Draw me to Your side

And as I wait I'll rise up like the eagle
And I will soar with You Your Spirit leads me on
By the power of Your love

Lord unveil my eyes Let me see You face to face
The knowledge of Your love as You live In me

Lord renew my mind As Your will unfolds my life
In living every day By the power of Your love

Hold me close Let Your love surround me
Bring me near Draw me to Your side

And as I wait I'll rise up like the eagle
And I will soar with You Your Spirit leads me on
By the power of Your love

Listening Ear 18/03/08

Isn't it nice to have someone to listen to your problems and you able to do vice versa?

"It is only after many people not worth knowing that you find a few who worth much more
It is only after many failures that you find success. "

True? Well... I think it is... Despite many failures, it doesnt mean one should stop searching his own success.

Despite the many jerks or uncertainty in your relationship, it doesnt mean that you should stop from searching the right one or fight in maintaining your happiness.
(this msg is for u 2.. Lileen and Aaron) :)

201 POSTS! - 10/03/08

just realised that i have already hit 200 posts. This is my 201th post!

Ok... for the past few posting, it has been shit... nothing but shit about me.
I have decided.... HEY! this blog is simpleme-des.blogspot.com.
Its supposed to be simple, and everything about me Desmond. The simple, positive, ever cheerful, brave, never give up Desmond must persist here... Well.. at least here...

So i have decided, here... there will be only good positive posts... No more emo me... No more sadness about me....

Thanks to BoBo, Casey, Aaron and those who happen to take notice of my change or showed concern to me. Thanks, really thanks....
But its still in me that i tend to keep problems on my own. So i will bring all the bad things to another blog. Link? well... of course i will keep it a secret.
Who will get to know it? well... highly unlikely anyone will get it.
I hope no one would somehow be able to search it and spread it around though... keke...

Rashness and Hot Temper 16/03/08

This is my weakest link. I have always been hot-tempered and rash. Often than not, i just acted on it, or simply just flare up.

My mum and grandma experienced it first hand many times... a hell lot of times...
Not forgetting my poor brother and close friends... of course, at times i flare up is because of them being bullied by outside parties.

Take my bro example when i was still in Pri 6 and he was pri 4, he had a quarrel with a friend and her mum confronted us. I got really angry and defended my bro like hell. I did not give face to the auntie and argued back for my brother. I am damn protective to those close to me.

But often than not, i flare for the wrong reasons. Shouting and scolding was common thing that my family faced. My mum had to cool me down many times, reminding me the right from the wrong. How i appreciate that... after time since then, i have managed to control my temper better. Also given the change in circumstances around me, i could not longer bear to quarrel with my grandma. With her condition getting bad to worse, this is just something i should do (or rather not do - flare up again).

Overtime, i have grown to be more careful of other's thinking and feelings. I tried as much to be as positive as possible despite whatever problems i faced. Nothing fazed me, i take it by my stride, i faced it bravely. But because of that, i tend to take it all on my own, trying to handle and solve on myself. I knew that's not right. But im not one who will openly discussed my problems easily.

Then come this stupid mistake again. Something i did in the moment of rashness, yet again. Now, what will happen next? Is it lost forever, I hope not... i really Hope not...or else, it will be another regret that i have bear again. I know time is needed now and i shouldnt rush things yet again.

No title this time 16/03/08

Every lesson, experience or mistake is valuable.

I may have made a silly one this time... a really silly one this time... but
i take it as something i have to go through, some thing to learn.

Only time will tell... only time will tell..
I mean i rather i suffer than the other party. I rather take it all on my own.

at least i had Steven Gerrard to talk to... that's not too bad... haha...
Thanks bro...

I feel like a fool 14/03/08

If really sixth sense works, i must say it really works...

I feel like a fool, not knowing now what to do next...
now i gotto let it go...
i gotto hope everything will turn out fine...
i gotto hope that it does not affect project...
i gotto hope that things would still be as before...

well at least i know the answer...
and from there, all the more i know why they say
"men from mars, women from venus"

Shitty Feeling - 13/03/08

Damn shitty feeling... Feeling angry yet worried at the same time...
and worse, do i have the right to feel like that in the first place?

I am so freaking LOST!

i cannot find a good timing, I know everything else is managable but this is really killing me...
I need an answer... But there's only one way...
COME ON DESMOND... Just do it !
):

Uncertainty - 07/03/08

Uncertainty is one that i dont like.... Extremely hate it. Because it is so uncertain.

I hate this feeling!
Not knowing what will happen.
Not knowing the other party's thoughts
Not knowing of its consequences
Not knowing what to do
Not knowing whether what I am doing is right
SUCK!!!!

So is it just me or everyone else?

Nice Prof - 06/03/08

Today i was glad to know of a Prof who is so helpful.

Though i have yet to meet her personally, her mail replies says it all.
I am still in the mist of deciding my major. and OBHR is now under my consideration list.
Through some findings, I contacted this Prof through mail and i sent a hopeful mail to her hoping for a reply.

To my surprise, her reply was fast and good. She was more than willing to give me some advice on my problem and even offered to meet up to discuss with it.

As such, im meeting her next week for it. Nice right...

To know or not to know - 06/03/08

Isnt there at times there is some questions where you hope for answer but yet at the same time you fear knowing it and the consequences it will follow along with it?

Wakiki 01/03/08

Today was a SMU event at Sentosa, Wakiki.

i joined with my floorball mates for this event. Its a event where we get to play many different games. They had beach soccer, handball, frisbee, volleyballl etc etc....

We got ourselves into different groups and today we had to reach early. We got a early scare when it was raining when we got the place. Luckily, it soon began to stop. Though later there was still some drizzling, it didnt disrupt the games that much.

In total, i played about 10 games.... 6 at beach soccer, 4 at handball.... Total Shack.
But we had fun... Just simply spend one day out of school work is just great!

of course, i still hope that she gets well soon too...